mindful versus ‘mindfull’
Many of my clients come to therapy experiencing anxiety and racing thoughts. A question I commonly ask is if they feel like their brain operates in a way that feels:
Mindful- present, self-aware, slow and non-judgmental
OR
Mind full- autopilot, fast, distracted, difficulty with concentrating and judgmental
The common answer I get is…mind full.
People feel the need to constantly adhere to a TODO list, compare themselves to others, and move quickly from one thing to the next.
I tend to refer back to a common childhood fable: The Tortoise and The Hare. We all know that the Hare went fast, didn’t pace itself, was worried about ‘winning’ and ran out of gas (mind full of the finish line). The Tortoise took its’ time, paced itself, passed the Hare and was able to get to the finish line it set out for in a reasonable and attainable way (mindful of how to get to the finish line).
Mind full, is designed to have us always playing catch up and often times leading to judgment of not feeling like we are enough or are somehow less than if we need a break.
Human beings tend to not be realistic, compassionate or gracious with themselves when it comes to how we are interacting with ourselves on a daily basis.
Mindful ways of living ask us to slow down throughout our day in reasonable and realistic ways. I ask people to make tiny, tiny behavior changes each day that allow them to check in with themselves and meet themselves where they are at.
A common exercise I recommend is ‘Quartering our Days’. Most people who watch sports would not leave the game after the first quarter just because their team was down a few points. They stay for the hope, understanding and opportunity for their team to come back for the remaining quarters.
Break your day up into fourths and at the end of each quarter, check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
How am I feeling?
How was this quarter?
Is there anything I can do for myself to help make the next quarter feel better?
This allows us to slow down, be kind to our mind, and still engage in our daily tasks.
Give this a try, what’s the best that could happen?
