Expectation VERSUS REALITY

Oftentimes, I see individuals and couples who come to counseling due to feeling dissatisfaction within their own behavior or the behavior of others. I typically start with a conversation about expectations. 

Human beings typically hold themselves and others to expectations, that tend to be high/unrealistic and likely not verbalized until we feel dissatisfied with the outcome of certain situations. 

I talk to people about the dangers of expectations because of the black and white nature in which they exist. The reality of our existence is that it’s mostly various hues of grey and open to interpretation and differing perspectives. Most people who set expectations of themselves and others tend to feel a lot of DISAPPOINTMENT. 

I try to get people to understand the merit of exchanging the word expectation with respectation. 

Make sure that we are having respectful conversations with ourselves and those around us regarding wants/needs/desires so that we can meet each other at a place of compromise and kindness. We owe ourselves and others understanding and expectations tend to not have much wiggle room for anything except for judgment. 

Try to take a step back and ensure that you are being reasonable, fair and respectful in your approach to things/aspirations you wish to accomplish. Provide a space of slack, grace and compassion for the unpredictability of life to intermingle with your plans. 

Life will provide us with plenty of struggles, we do not need to compound it with disappointment because we are not leaving room for the fallibility of humans and the uniqueness at which we see the world.